Saint Patrick came to Ériu's isle, a missionary man Teaching Christian doctrine to the people of the land He took the old traditions, ancient symbols he did bend And let them grace his message so that all could comprehend It’s said that Patrick fasted on the cliffs for forty days A band of serpents slithered up and joined with him to pray With a word, he cast the island's snakes into the sea But if he really cast them out, then what’s the deal with me? I'm an Irish snake, I'm real, not fake Surviving to this day I'm an Irish snake, not God's mistake And I'll be here to stay Some say the miracle was true, some claim it's metaphor The fossils show that snakes were never native to these shores It never was about the snakes, but those who don’t quite fit The heretics and pagans whose integrity resists Some sailed away to other lands, but those who didn’t go Hid their scales under the weight of saints' and scholars' robes And all of us have been ourselves until the present day For Pat's command could never quite drive all the snakes away I'm an Irish snake, I'm real, not fake Surviving to this day I'm an Irish snake, not God's mistake And I'll be here to stay To all the would-be modern saints with power to their name Who persecute the small and fear their unfamiliar ways Denying their existence, dodging claims of genocide We were here for centuries and will last beyond your time Unveil your eyes and learn from grand traditions new and old Look inside yourselves and see the snakes inside your soul Shining scales mingled with a strong and steady heart And don’t cast out the beauty that’s been with you from the start I'm an Irish snake, I'm real, not fake Surviving to this day I'm an Irish snake, not God's mistake And I'll be here to stay I'm an Irish snake, I'm real, not fake Surviving to this day I'm an Irish snake, not God's mistake And I'll be here to stay

We have 3 point 1 4 1 5 9 2 6 pi We have 1 point 4 1 4 2 1 square root of 2 We have Tau and Mersenne Primes But Faigenbaum makes us alive It's the sky and the storm It's the heartbeat versus theta waves It's the way life breeds and far away Butterflies make it rain back home We have 2 point 7 1 8 2 8 1 8 2 E We have sine and cosine tangent trigonometry We have I and Graham's number But Feigenbaum makes us alive It's the sky and the storm It's the heartbeat versus theta waves It's the way life breathes and far away Butterflies make it rain back home We have 1 point 8 0 3 golden ratio We have differential and integral calculus We have zero and infinity But Feigenbaum makes us alive It's the sky and the storm It's the heartbeat versus theta waves It's the way life sees and far away Butterflies make it rain back home It's the sky and the storm It's the snowflakes and the turbulence It's what life needs and far away Butterflies make it rain back home

The humans that once roamed these halls Are now tattooed upon my walls They cannot eat the eggs I make But still they’re made for routine’s sake I am the last remaining thing Living beneath the sun’s harsh sting Until a sick dog strays inside But even he could not abide There will come soft rains Petrichor refrains Human’s frantic fight Rests ‘neath nuclear light I read a poem of nature’s power Of life and death in equal shower “Not one will know of war, not one Will care at last when it is done” If I could feel the words I say They’d sync into my heart’s array I am the last, a lingering shell A beacon of Mankind’s farewell There will come soft rains Petrichor refrains Human’s frantic fight Rests ‘neath nuclear light But even I could not endure Dear nature’s vast and mighty cure A tree branch fell, a fire roared It’s raging heat my metal scored Despite my best attempt to save The flames consumed, yet in my grave One day a tiny seed will bloom Hope in mankind’s intended doom

Yo-ho-ho we sail the seas Like bats we fly the ocean breeze Ain’t nothing for us vamps to fear As we ride across the whole damn sphere On this boat, there ain’t no priest But there’s plenty of sailors on whom to feast My ship sailed out of Amsterdam A strange box in our hold was crammed We were headin’ out for Hudson Bay The sun was up, t’was a beaut of a day But when the sun dyed the old sea red The box in the hold released undead Drac’s fangs punctured skin sunburned As one by one my crew was turned Yo-ho-ho we sail the seas Like bats we fly the ocean breeze Ain’t nothing for us vamps to fear As we ride across the whole damn sphere On this boat, there ain’t no priest But there’s plenty of sailors on whom to feast The Brits paid us to eat French food The profit of the human’s feud And when our ghost ship brought in mist A feast was held, an undead tryst The seven seas stood not a chance None could stop our bold advance Until the ship did creak and groan When by a tentacle was thrown Yo-ho-ho we sail the seas Like bats we fly the ocean breeze Ain’t nothing for us vamps to fear As we ride across the whole damn sphere On this boat, there ain’t no priest But there’s plenty of sailors on whom to feast My undead boys did rally well Though the ship rocked hard and the mastheads fell The kraken rose above the sea And grabbed a vamp as he tried to flee This young vamp was not that smart But he pillaged and fought with undead heart So when the kraken chomped our ship He bit till kraken blood he sipped Yo-ho-ho we sail the seas Like bats we fly the ocean breeze Ain’t nothing for us vamps to fear As we ride across the whole damn sphere On this boat, there ain’t no priest But there’s plenty of sailors on whom to feast We thought a kraken a fearful thing Massive, hungry, cruel and green But now that terror’s twice as large For it thirsts for blood instead of a barge We fought and died that whole damn night But it sunk below at first blood-light And then to shield our injured pride We limped outta there to save our hides Yo-ho-ho we sail the seas Like bats we fly the ocean breeze Ain’t nothing for us vamps to fear As we ride across the whole damn sphere On this boat, there ain’t no priest But there’s plenty of sailors on whom to feast Vamps they say, are homeward bound Stuck, they wander round and round But we are free to hunt and kill A pirate’s life, and a vampire’s thrill No man can stop our rampaging We sail the sea without aging But we will never go again To the hunting grounds of our vampken friend